Feelings

I'm usually a very positive, happy and upbeat kinda gal. When other people's worlds are caving in, I'm the one giving them my advice. Or going to be by their side for a shoulder to cry on or talk to.

Recently, I've wondered where all my True Friends really are. I don't just want someone to be there for me when I'm going through hard times..I want them to be there through my good times too. But it seems that I am alone in friendship.

My thought and words seem to be the only friend I have right now, so I need a shoulder to cry on..or a paper to pour out my inner tears on.

I just don't know how to feel anymore. I've tried thinking, "Be patient, good things will happen." Then something bad or unexpected happens and my family is right back where we started off. Poor, no food, no gas and no self confidence or self esteem.

I know we are all going through hard times right now and I should not be selfish in my ways of thinking...but I see around me people who say they have no money going on vacations, and buying new cars, which makes me feel lied to and betrayed.

I have burnt all my financial bridges with my family. They help me out and when it comes time for me to pay them back, again I have no money and I feel like I get buried into the deepest, darkest hole that I just can't seem to get out of.

You'd think that since my husband makes decent money that we are OK, when in reality, we are far from OK.

We are two months almost going on three late on our rent....Thank God that our landlord is a very patient man. Or I feel we would have been evicted a long time ago. Our electric is about it get shut off as well as our water.

Plus the other bills that we have that are just climbing to the sky, it worries me that the Holiday's are right around the corner. *tear* I just hate feeling this way and I my husband is probably feeling the weight on his shoulders as well. It just doesn't help me that I am stuck at home with more free time to sit around my house and let all this build up in my mind.

I have dreams that I just blink my eyes and all of our dreams come true. We buy a car, house, winter clothes for the kids, and soo much more that we just don't have.

Well I do have to be thankful for one thing. Thank the Lord for the Internet!! Even if I am stuck at home alone, this is the one thing that keeps me sane during the day. If all this means is not one person will read this posting, I will at least get the stress out of my mind and off my shoulders.

*deep breath*

*smile*

I do feel a little better already. Maybe by some miracle and the grace of God, something good will happen to our family and things will finally get better for us.

Stay strong, think positive, Pray

Words I always tell my friends when they need me, yet I find it so hard to do myself.

Hottest "Male" Celebrity Poll

WHO DO YOU THINK IS THE HOTTEST MAN ALIVE??

We all know that by the grace of God some of us are just born with the "Hot" gene and other's just are "Not". For these celebrity men, Pictures can say a thousand words. But the one word that jumps out of my head it just plain ol "HOT"!!

My Favorite "Hottest Men" Celebrities

1. Channing Tatum

2. Paul Walker

3. Chad Michael Murray

4. Orlando Bloom

5. Jesse Metcalf

6. Ryan Phillippe

7. Adrian Greniere

8. Jensen Ackles

9. David Beckham

10. Mario Lopez

Wow, it would be amazing just to be up close to one of these fine men, even if it means just to stare into their eyes!! Well, it's good to at least be able to dream huh? lol ;)

I Hate Struggeling!!

Ever since this economy has took a huge fall, life has been extremley tough for everyone. But for my family it has led us to a major crises. We have not lost our house yet, but we are now two months behind since I was recently laid off. We have had no money for food, bills or even gas to get back and forth to work with. I have tried to be strong for the sake of my kids. I've kept my inner tears back and prayed more than ever.

Now, we have not even a dime to our name. We went from both our pay days landing every other friday, so my husband would get paid one friday and the next I got paid, so we always had a week where we had money.

I have now been out of work for almost two months and it seems like we get more and more burried into a hole. I have now come to a highest weakness with all our struggle that I finally broke down and cried today.

I still try not to let my kids see my sadness and show them that we are ok, but when life went so good to where we went out for dinner often or even to go see a movie, to now, not being able to do anything...and our kids are smart so i'm sure they are starting to see a difference.

Out of all our struggles, my husband and I were sitting down this evening talking about what were going through. He says, "We have to be strong for eachother and know that NO matter what material struggles we go through, we have eachother and our health". I cried and we hugged for the longest time. He is very right and no matter what materialistic things we have to sell in order to get us money for our house payment and utilities, at least we still have a house for now and we do have eachother. Our marriage and bond with us as a family is really what means the most to me. At the end of each day as long as his love reassures me then that makes all my stress, anxiety and suffering go away.

I hate struggeling, but the I see it as a learning experience and know that I am not the only one going through harsh times right now.

If you are going through hard times and need a shoulder to cry on, message me and let me talk to you..we can cry on eachother's shoulder's together and over come all of our obsticles.

Peace, Love, God Bless!!

A Full House

Well the past three weeks I have graciously allowed my best friend and her four kids stay with my husband, myself and our two girls. Her youngest daughter is 7 months old, she has a little girl that is 18 months, another girl that is 5 and a son that is 7.
I have a three bedroom two bath home around 1500 sq. ft. Not too big. But it works for my family of four. My oldest daughter gave up her room for my friend and her two little ones to sleep. The other two of her kids shared a room with my two girls.
When they arrived, I was extremely excited to be having an infant in my house. She is the cutest little girl too. But she is teething and so far since they have moved in I have not had one night of peace.
My fried works at night and has no vehicle so I have been driving her back and forth from work.
Our days consist of waking up in the morning and getting the kids ready for school...then the hole day is filled with her 18 month old screaming at the top of her lungs and spilling food and drinks all over my house. Did I mention that my carpets are a very light tan color??!! Since they have moved in, it's more like dirty sand color now. Stains galore!!
The oldest two are in school so I at least get that break during the day. Since my friend works at night, she gets home at around 4am. The infant wakes up at 6 or 7 and after the older kids are off to school, guess who takes care of the little ones while she sleeps?? Yup...Me.
I don't mind to help out a friend, but times have been tough. I can't imagine what it's like to be a single mom with four kids. I know she has it extremely tough.
All I can do is be a good friend and be there for her in her time of need.
Good news...she was able to find a house for rent and was available immediately. So this coming Monday she gets the keys to her place and I drive her one last time to work.


Awwww finally will have my house back to normal and first thing Monday afternoon, Get my carpets clean!!!!


So Long Full House!!



Ever need an aroma to cure all moods??

Visit:

http://www.charmednaturally.com/

Just Felt Like Talking

I often sit here with a ton of thoughts going through my head. So much is going on everywhere in the world at this very moment in time. Hurt, pain, suffering and starving. Not to mention the war that is still going on for some reason. I often tell myself that if I ever won the lottery that I would be one of those people out there helping as much as I could to stop all this. I know it is impossible for me to stop a war. But, I know that I have the biggest heart and am determined to help in whatever as much as I could.

So I sit here in my peacefully quiet home and try to conquer all in my mind. I wish it were that easy.

Anywho...just wanted to get this out of my mind and into yours. Thanks for listening.

I Need Motavation!!

I love to workout and run. But here lately I have had so much going on in my life that I just get tired and all I want to do is, NOT be active.
When I stopped I noticed that I immediately gained weight. None of my pants fit me and it makes my self esteem shoot straight down to the floor.
I need some help getting motivated.
What would you recommend??

Yes, I'm A Shopoholic

My Name is Stephanie and I'm a Shopoholic...

For so long I never knew that buying a new outfit everytime I went out clubing was a bad thing. Not only do I buy either a dress, pants, skirt, blouse, sweater, whatever makes the outfit...I also must buy all matching accessories to finish off the whole attire and make it complete.

It seems like every time I have a dollar on me, stores are always calling my name for me to go spend it. My savings would never get to high becuase those special occasions of going out always seemed like they landed on a payday weekend.

When I see a mall it's like beams of shining light flow out like a shimmering diamond urging to be touched. I walk in and the smell of "New" is everywhere. It's hard to explain this smell, but I take a deep breath and it's like an instan rush of energy and I'm on cloud nine. Each store is new and different to me. No matter where I am or what I am doing, the word "SALE" always catch my eye and it's an instant purchase for me. I'll usually walk out of each outlet with something.

My New Favorite Fragrance

Coach "Legacy"

Purchase this online or at your nearest store.

You'll LOVE it!!
http://www.coach.com/

I could start my day out walking extremly slow and checking out each mall outlet for a good fifteen, twenty minutes each. Trying on clothes and shoes add on an extra ten to fifteen on top of that. Smelling each parfume, testing as many as possible to find the perfect one.


BCBG had one of my favorite clothing lines. I can always find a unique top or bottom everytime I look in this section of the store. Buy online or at your nearest retailer.
http://www.bcbg.com/




Just being in the atmostphere of being around people walking in the mall with money to spend, and the smell of food brings to me at utmost addiction.



Then after many hours of looking for the perfect shirt, or earings, I have this glow to me. It's the most pleasuring peace of mind and happiness that I have a new item to put in my jewlery box or closet. What makes this all worth while, is that when I am out having a night on the town or just walking around people, the comments of how gorgeous my boots are, or how beautiful my outfit is, makes the money I blew on it worth while.



Chanel - Another One of My Favorite Name Brands
There are a ton to choose from, view them at
http://www.chanel.com/











Clothes, shoes, hand bags and accessories aren't all I am addicted to buying. I love to just splurge. Passing by a nail or hair saloon, immediatley calls me in. Then of coarse I have to keep up with the fills every two weeks on my nails. And the root touch ups on my hair ever two months. Ahhhh what a girl has to do in order to look good. It's hard, but worth it to feel and look like a million dollars.



Yes, I am a shopoholic and after I am through splurging from my addiction, I have no money left. But I have a closet full of incredible outfits, shoes and handbags, a jewlery box full of hot new fashion accessorries and the biggest smile on my face. Oh...not to mention..sore feet, worn out old sandles from walking all day, sore body and totally drained and oh yes...completly exhausted. But, I can't wait to do it all over again!! Until then, all that goes on in my mind is, what will I buy next?


The Most Important thing you must know about My addiction is...I am a responsible shopoholic. HUGE difference. Bills are paid before I even think about what my next purchase will be.

Ever feel the same way as I do??

Here are a few of my favorite online fashion links for the latest fashion:
http://www.elle.com/Fashion
http://style.com/

http://catwalktocloset.com/



Catch up on fashion news as well:
http://www.stylelens.com/